The Victorians have a reputation for being straight-laced , proper and persnickety . As a member of the upper class inVictorian England(during the reign ofQueen Victoria , 1837 - 1901 ) , one had to know the exhaustive principle of etiquette that went along with one ’s position . Today , many of these rule seem arbitrary and whacky : Does it really matter the order in whichdinner partyguests enter the dining elbow room ? At the time it did , because such societal niceties comprise basic manners and politeness .
Of course , some etiquette linguistic rule were arbitrary , but they were nonetheless functional . Every club has such dominion — like whether to drive on the rightfield or left side of the street — to establish expectations and keep thing run swimmingly . In the Victorian epoch , etiquette lubricated the mechanism of societal exchange : There were rules for making newfangled friends , keeping up with old friend and even contract out virtuously doubtful friend . But most significantly , knowing the formula help one show esteem for everyone else , let in handmaiden , acquaintances , grandeur and clergy .
Yet such normal could go too far . It was evident to many even then ; social critics of the time popularly mock the more ridiculous elements of tight-laced society . The cartridge holder Punch published cartoon of farcical societal scene , and the satirist W.S. Gilbert indite humorous lyric to comic opera skewering slaphappy element of the culture . We ’ll take a glimpse into some of the prescript that seem absurd to us today .
permit us protrude with a right invitation : We kindly request the pleasance of your troupe to take part in an geographic expedition of Victorian etiquette . Let ’s commence with what they wore .
10: Fashion Etiquette: Crinolines and Corsets
The Victorians firmly believe in the grandness of have on the appropriate article of clothing on every occasion . And while in the other part of the nineteenth hundred ( Jane Austen ’s time ) women ’s apparel were reasonably simple , by the age of the Victorians , the pendulum had swung back to favor elaborate , refined and aggrandize attire . The average little girl needed many styles of apparel hive up in her wardrobe , includingdressesfor balls , dinners , walk and rig rides , in addition to area dress . rigorous rule ground how recollective one was to wear fateful when mourning a hubby , forefather , sibling and even in - law [ origin : Yesterday ’s Thimble , Andrews ] .
doubtless , the most magnificently laughable item of a straitlaced cleaning woman ’s press was thecrinoline . As a backup man for bed of heavy petticoats , these all-encompassing , brand - make domed cages held women ’s skirts far from their legs . Such gadget made it easy to use the chamber pot , perhaps , but maneuvering in minor quad became a challenge . Women also had to relearn how to sit elegantly [ source : Publicism ] . Nevertheless , it was the popular style , and every fine upper - class lady had one . afterwards in the one C , fashion favoredcrinolettes , which prop up up just the back end of the dress .
But perhaps no other article of wearable better represented Victorians than thecorset , which was essential for a Victorian woman . These tight - fitting undergarments help oneself one remain tumid and even represent a common sense of ego - regard . Indeed , corsets were ubiquitous for women across classes — they were even standard in prison house and workhouses . Some physicians at the time argued that womanhood ask the corset for wellness reasons — to support their internal organs [ source : Publicism ] .
9: Street Etiquette: Greeting One Another
stern guidelines governed social interaction on prom and public thoroughfares , particularly between the sexual activity . A youthful , unmarried woman would not go out without an escort . Etiquette forbade youthful ladies from looking around for acquaintances or stop to chat in a crowded thoroughfare .
According toCassell ’s Household Guide , a comprehensive book on Victorian life published in 1869 , if the young womanhood did see a gentleman admirer and feel she could n’t ignore him , she would have to take the initiative and offer her bridge player . The gentleman had to look for the dame to recognize him before lifting his hat ( not simply tinct the rim ) , and he had to use the hand uttermost from her . If she proffer her hand , the gentleman had to turn and take the air with the lady instead of stopping . Above all else , the conversation itself had to be book : Cassell ’s dictates , " stern reticence of speech and conduct should be observed in public , " without " loud talking " or " animise discussion . "
A gentleman’s gentleman never smoke in the presence of a lady . Indeed , it would be impolite for peeress to " stay gentlemen in conversation " while they weresmoking , because it would force him to put out a secure cigar [ source : Cassell ’s ] .
Only under utmost circumstances could one perform the praxis of " cut off , " in which you stared directly at someone you knew with no preindication of credit . Cassell ’s call this " the most sick - mannered act potential to commit in fellowship . "
In a carriage ride , a valet de chambre never sat next to a lady who was not a relation ; he always sit down with his back to thehorses , allowing the opposite seat to the lady . A gentleman also had to take care not to abuse on a noblewoman ’s dress , and he was to alight first to help a gentlewoman down .
8: Introduction Etiquette: Addressing Nobility
Proper introductions were important to Victorians , as it was generally considered unlawful to address someone to whom you had n’t been officially present . Social inferior were present to social higher-up in an introduction , with the exception that lady were always introduce to gentlemen regardless of rank .
So to introduce masses as a proper Victorian , you had to know your societal ranking , or theorder of precedence . This was no easy task to keep straight . After the sovereign and the sovereign ’s near relations came the Archbishop of Canterbury and Lord High Chancellor , and so on . style aristocracy included two club : thepeerage(which include duke , marquesses , earls , viscounts and barons , in that order of magnitude ) and , below them , Bart andknights .
Properly handle such aristocracy was also unmanageable . Generally , one used " Lord " to address peer , " Lady " to treat women married to a peer , and " Sir " to address baronets and knight . form it more confusing , however , was the use of " Lord " and " Lady " to address upper - class people who were not nobility ( as a " courtesy title of respect " ) . This was also opposed to indite communicating , because one had to know that a marquis was addressed as " The Most Hon . , " while other peers were address as " The Right estimable " [ germ : Susanne Dietze , The English Manner ] .
7: Calling Card Etiquette
If you get in town for an extended visit , it was customary to go around leaving your calling board . This was a agency to announce your presence and arrange visits to keep up with old acquaintances . The receiver customarily returned the favor in the form of a card or chitchat within a week . ( Intimate friends could call the right way away without waiting for a card . ) One would also customarily leave card for a household during sealed events , such as illness or involution , to express condolences or congratulation .
A very fine lady would go around in her carriage with a footman , who brought the cards into the house . And he would bring many . One married womanhood holler on another would lend one card with her name and two with her husband ’s name ( for both mistress and master ) in accession to cards for unmarried girl or client in the home . The figure of the visitor ’s single daughters could be written on the mother ’s card .
Fans of Jane Austen andCharles Dickenswill recall how shoot for upper - class citizen would sometimes pretentiously display on their mantle the cards from luxuriously - ranking acquaintances who total to call .
6: Visiting Etiquette: The Art of Calling
When a formal sojourn was accept or arranged , one would n’t fall apart anything showy : Etiquette dictated " plain walking costume " [ source : Cassell ] . Because of tradition , these calls were known as " morning calls , " but by Victorian times , they were hardly ever perform before noon . In the 19th century , " morning " just meant any time beforedinner(i.e . , 7 p.m. ) .
Every day , if a lady happened to be home , she was expected to be properly dressed and quick for visitor between 3 and 5 p.m. In fact , the time visitor arrived depended on how intimate an conversance they were : The closer you were , the by and by you could visit . Someone not well - acquainted with you could call between 3 and 4 p.m. ; if they arrived earlier , they certainly parade " ominous - gustation " [ generator : Pool , Cassell ] .
When you arrived , the butler would precede you to the lottery room , where it was customary to invite Edgar Guest . harmonise to etiquette , valet would make for their chapeau and riding whip with them to indicate that they did n’t intend to bide long . The gentleman would keep his hat in his bridge player unless it was necessary to put it down on a piece of furniture — but never something as vulgar as on the floor or under his chair . " excite hands,“according to Cassell ’s , is an " inappropriate " terminal figure implicating a firm , vigorous shake . Instead , one must apply only " gentle pressure " and " slight movement from the wrist . " And , of course , a valet never induct taking a lady ’s hand .
Visits were to be limited to 15 or 20 proceedings and Camellia sinensis would be served during that meter [ source : Victoriana ] .
5: Dinner Party Etiquette
The prissy dinner company was a minefield of potential social trip-up . First , guests were required to arrive 15 minutes late [ source : Pool ] . After pull together in the drawing elbow room for a short time , a servant would announce dinner to be quick , and the party would enter the dining room .
But this dim-witted event of moving to the dining room was really a pompous one for the Victorians : It was a cautiously planned procession of couples , beginning with the most esteemed Edgar Guest . The air hostess would have to get up the order of the procession , making sure not to shock anyone . It could get complicated when one ’s Guest include unmarried people or widows and widowman , because this necessitated deciding whom to couple together .
Getting the procession damage could create tension for what was certain to be a foresighted night : The meal itself was usually around 10 courses , not counting dessert [ source : Pool ] . That might report for the late arrival time , to give the emcee metre to educate . And during the repast , as guests waited for the footman to dish out the food , a gentleman was to converse with the gentlewoman to his right .
But after sweet , the dark was n’t over . Ladies pull in one’s horns to the drawing room to chat and drinkcoffeeor Camellia sinensis , allowing the gentleman’s gentleman to fume and mayhap engage in ribald conversation .
4: Court Etiquette: Presentation to the Queen
When a daughter was lay out at court , in the eyes of the Victorians , she transform from being nonaged and off - limits to suddenly being nubile .
vernal ladies were present several time a twelvemonth in St. James ’s Palace . But they were n’t the only ones who had to make an entrance : Young men were also presented several time a year in " levee , " hosted either by the Queen or the Prince of Wales .
rigorous dominion outlined the costume for demonstration at judicature . Men jade genu breeches and buckle shoes and wielded a sword . lady had to wear feathering in their hair high enough for the Queen to see , and the train on their dress needed to measure 3 K ( 2.74 meters ) long precisely . And although the Victorians had a reputation for modesty , the require dress for presentation lead a lady ’s neck and much of her shoulders unsheathed .
Ladies had to comport their trains on their left arm while waiting in the palace for their presentations . Several master - in - wait were at helping hand to lay out a lady ’s train and pass along her card to announce her to Queen Victoria . After entering , she kissed the Queen ’s hired hand ( or the Queen kissed her forehead if she were a noblewoman or daughter of a peer ) . She then needed to wait for a Thomas Nelson Page to locate her train on her left sleeve again before she somehow managed to elegantly kick the bucket the room without turn her back to the Queen .
The young men ’s presentation was alike : A man , once announced , would flex down on one knee and hold out his right script to the Queen . The Queen would lay her helping hand on his and he would buss it [ source : King ] .
Now , after being presented at court of justice , young Victorians could finally get down to the business of finding a teammate .
3: Courtship Etiquette
During the Victorian Age , the English prided themselves on being more liberal than the French in realise the grandness ofloveand mutual affection in marriage . Nevertheless , Cassell’sstates , " Marriages of affection are not necessarily unsuited with marriages formed from interested motives , but common fondness is not considered necessary as a starting stage . " Tension necessarily rise when young citizenry had to choose between mutual warmheartedness and hold financial or societal constancy .
Etiquette script of the day advised readers to bet only within their own class for a mate [ source : Phegley ] . The common law of nature customs of entail and primogeniture , which kept estates whole and in the hand of first - born male , had inauspicious repercussions for those seeking a marriage of mutual warmness . It was accepted as normal and correct that ladies seek eldest sons . When an estate was in fuss ( and unable to be mortgage because of entailment ) , firstborn Son often seek heiresses of new money , even if they were crass adult female of low social social status . This practice was a virulent and ironic contraceptive pill for Victorians to accept .
man broadly speaking get hitched with younger char ; one Holy Writ advised that a 30 - year - old human being is suited to a 22 - year - one-time woman and a 40 - year - old mankind is suited to a 27 - year - sure-enough fair sex [ source : Phegley ] . All " out , " or available , girls made sure to be in townsfolk during theseason , a period of chaperoned social events ( start in January but accelerating in April through June ) that served fundamentally as amarriagemarket . And , if a young ma’am could n’t snatch up a husband in three seasons , she would depart give up herself to spinsterhood [ germ : puddle ] .
A man who was concerned in a noblewoman could never expect to be alone with her . Rather , he would call on her at her family ’s home and they would converse in the mien of her parents or chaperones . Each would seek to determine the other ’s character . A woman would be suspicious of a man who revel " low and rough-cut amusement , " while a man would need to make certain his next wife made good party and that she performed her house duty [ reservoir : Phegley ] .
2: Ballroom Etiquette
A ball was a highlight of social life for new hoi polloi during the straitlaced Age . liken to a country saltation , a ball was more formal and had a larger attendance and an orchestra . Those prosperous enough to receive the schematic invitation got them three to six weeks before the issue and had toRSVPwithin a day [ source : syndicate ] . The nut sport dinner , card - playing and , of trend , euphony and dancing .
A air hostess would go all - out to prepare her house , make doors off hinges , removing carpet , fine-tune flooring , adding as much light as possible , planning food and eating arrangements , purchasingflowersand hiring an orchestra .
At ball , ladies by and large had dance placard on which to compose the names of their partners . consort to Cassell ’s , a hope to trip the light fantastic toe , once made , was sacred and " should not on any report be broken . " If a dame advertently promised the same terpsichore to two gentlemen , the polite thing to do was to decline to dance with either , " set[ing ] the gentlemen devoid to choose other partners . " And she was never to dance more than three metre with one gentleman , since the point was to be social and mingle , not to hog one person ’s clock time [ source : kitty ] . During the dancing , a peeress always bear herself gracefully . Indeed , a lady always had to be absolutely and seamlessly refined , never so much as letting anyone see her adjusting her hair or outfit [ rootage : Carpenter ] .
Strangers , of class , could n’t dance without an introduction , so a valet de chambre who took interest in a lady had to ask a common conversance for one . But this intromission depend only in the dance hall . If he saw her again , he could not dare an acquaintance unless she took the first step .
While a lady could n’t take the air around a ballroom without a gentleman or escort at her side , the pattern of promenading a dame around the room after a dance settle out of manner in the middle of the strait-laced era [ seed : Carpenter ] . alternatively , a gentleman see the lady to her seat , bowed and put out . The choice of a dancing partner on the last terpsichore before the meal was peculiarly of import , as the gentleman would escort his dance collaborator to dinner party .
1: Engagement Etiquette
According to Cassell ’s , when a priggish gentleman wish to nominate , he first " ascertains the United States Department of State of a lady ’s feelings towards himself before he makes a convinced declaration of his beloved . " He then had to look for out a boon from the lady ’s beginner before the involution was prescribed .
If there was some holdup to their being officially engaged ( for example , the untested lady had a fortune that needed to be put in some sort of reliance ) , the span had to freeze communicating and " live towards each other as pure stranger for the sentence " [ source : Cassell ’s ] . Ideally , she would pay up a sojourn to distant supporter while all this was being sorted out . Even if there was no fortune to care about , it was expected that the man , as the bread - victor , would cover his life and make his future wife the beneficiary . Once an engagement was official , if one company chose to break it , the other could sue for damages [ source : Pool ] .
Victorian Rules FAQ
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In Whit Stillman ’s film " Metropolitan , " the supporter argue that " most everything Jane Austen write is near ridiculous from today ’s perspective , " to which another replies , " Has it ever occur to you that today count at from Jane Austen ’s view would look even bad ? " As an champion of Jane Austen , I ’m not one to necessarily dismiss the importance of a societal rule simply because it seems ridiculous out of context of use of time and cultivation . It ’s well-heeled to ( and often nearly unimaginable not to ) laugh at foregone customs . But examining these customs will assure you a lot about a polish and what has changed , for good or for worse .
