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Austin and I got married after being together forfour months . Seven years later , he ’s still my favorite person .
We ’ve grown and changed so much through our marriage . And of class it has n’t all been happy moments . There are some boisterous memories that still take my breathing place away to recall about .
We ’ve struggle through job loss , multiple moves , going back to college , and hardest of all , our own mental health problems . Seven twelvemonth later , he ’s still my favourite soul .
Besides get very compatible personality , I attribute our good for you marriage to a few simple things that we do in our quotidian lives .
hard prison term will come no matter what . If we can take reward of the honorable clip , by creating good relationship habits and storing up happy memory board , it helps us through the tough times .
Full disclosure : I ’m a little skittish to give any kind of marriage ceremony “ advice ” . Relationships are all unparalleled and work or do n’t work for all kinds of reason . These are just the thing that have helped us .
1. Work at Cultivating Shared Hobbies
Friendship is a big part of our marriage . We ’ve always enjoyed hanging out together and we share some hobbies , like play games , watching movies , and going out to run through .
We ’ve made an elbow grease to share more hobby though , since it gives us more opportunities to associate .
I roll in the hay buy the farm for walk of life and Austin goes for a walk with me each night after dinner party . I think he has really started to savour going for walks over the year . It ’s not that he was ever against going for walks . It ’s just not his thing and he would n’t do it if I did n’t demand him to .
One of Austin ’s main hobbies is playing video games . He play plenty of video games that I have no interestingness in , but I do make an effort to try some of them . There are actually a few video games that I really care now and Austin makes an effort to find new games that he thinks I ’ll like .
We still have separate hobbies and we do n’t always link in on each other ’s hobbies , but learning to savour what the other someone likes to do has help give us more probability to do things together .
Plus , we can have good conversation about our hobbies because I actually interpret what he ’s talking about when he order we what ’s young in the video game world .
2. Speak Up
I figured this out pretty too soon in our relationship and I ’m glad I did . My spouse is not a mind reviewer . He does n’t always know if something is bothering me , or how much it ’s bothering me .
If something that he did or said spite or torment me , I endeavor to speak up as soon as potential . I do n’t want there to be lingering resentments under the surface of our married couple .
This also means that I have to encourage him to speak up if something is get to him , and then sincerely listen .
3. Improve It Before It’s Bad
A luck of people dismiss wedlock books or the estimate of marriage counseling because they intend those things are for matrimony that are in trouble .
I seek to take more of a “ care ” view . It ’s much easy to work on and better a goodish man and wife than to deliver one that ’s on the rocks , if you make love what I think .
While we have n’t done any union counseling , we have translate through some marriage books together over the years . In fact , we have one that we ’re reading through decent now when we have the time .
These imagination have been helpful in improving our communicating , bringing up important topics , and helping us see things from the other ’s distributor point of view .
I will say that Austin has never been a big fan of the idea of read matrimony book and I ’m certain he would n’t read them without my encouragement . I try on to explain that it ’s significant to me that we find small style to keep our human relationship strong like reading books on the subject .
What has worked for us is to learn them together , either by taking number reading out loudly or listening to the audio edition .
I thinkThe 5 Love Languagesis super helpful . We startedThe 7 Principles for Making Marriage Worka few months ago . We really like it so far . Life got a little crazy , so we ’ll get back to finishing it eventually .
4. Be Sweet
Kindness goes a long means . When people get comfortable with each other , they stop doing the little things that make the great unwashed sense fuck . piddling things like regard , expressing appreciation , post cutesy text messages , holding hand … It ’s leisurely to get used to your married person and block up doing those thing .
Here are some trivial ways to be fresh to your spouse :
5. Stay on the Same Team
Through most of the difficult circumstances we ’ve encountered since we ’ve been married , we ’ve detain on the same squad . We ’re not at war with each other , we ’re at state of war against something else , if that makes good sense .
If you and your spouse disagree about something , this might find impossible . But usually , even in a competitiveness , we ’re trying to accomplish the same matter and just disagree on how to go about it .
When we ’ve distribute with occupation loss , we ’ve been on the same team attempt to figure out what to do next .
When we ’ve struggle with mental health issues , we ’ve tried to abide on the same team and assist each other rather of feel like the other person is the enemy ( not always utterly accomplished ) .
stay on the same squad means that the problem is n’t inside our spousal relationship , it ’s something we ’re dealing with together alfresco of our marriage . It has made a huge remainder in how we regard difficult fortune .
Even a healthy , happy marriage can benefit from putting some cause into it . By share hobbies , being sweet and supportive , educating ourselves about bettering our marriage , and staying on the same squad , we ’ve made it through some ruffianly office .
Like I pronounce before : unmanageable times will come no matter what . If we can take advantage of the well times , by creating upright relationship substance abuse and hive away up happy memories , it aid us through the tougher times .
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