It was n’t called the " Roaring ' XX " for nothing . During the 1920s in the United States , people were still emotionally recovering from the Great War , but thanks to an economic windfall , many pick out to drown their sorrows in frivolity . DespiteProhibition , which ban the sale ofalcohol , the booze line was booming thanks to powerful criminal mob . The prevailing humor of the clock time was of flouting the law and chuck unaired tradition in party favour of looser morals . So how , in 1922 , did a middle - aged , upper - class woman captivate thousands of readers with her encyclopaedia on etiquette ?
Etiquette books had nearly always been pop in the United States . A immature area fill up with hoi polloi of interracial ethnical inheritance and lack an nobility , the U.S. also miss cohesive rules for expected behavior . Not to mention , the nouveau riche ask to learn how to behave among the privileged class . Most of these etiquette books , however , had an aura of largeness that did n’t sit well with the aspiring middle class . The defective sin , according to the writers , was to embarrass oneself by not knowing the linguistic rule .
Emily Post ’s book stood aside from the other etiquette guides because of its emphasis on moral principle . According to Post , money does n’t guarantee reputability if your behaviour is n’t ground in ethics . On the other hand , a lack of money will not keep you from " undecomposed smart set , " as long as you know how to behave . In the first chapter of her illustrious account book , " Etiquette : In Society , in political sympathies , in Business and at nursing home , " Post wrote , " Etiquette must , if it is to be of more than dawdling purpose , let in ethics as well as manners . " This philosophy resonate with a public disdainful of phoniness and pretension .
Though much of her exceptional advice is now disused — how many of us have to occupy about butlers and gentlewoman ' maid ? — this guiding ism is still relevant . Indeed , Post ’s descendent have recognized the prevail need for etiquette guidance and continue to help people navigate a interchange world through good way .
Although she knew and respected the old tradition , Post also interpret and embrace modern societal change . This balanced brain perfectly positioned her as the queen of etiquette . Despite being conduct into privilege , Post did n’t exactly have an promiscuous life history . She endured a mussy , public divorce and , later on , the death of her adult boy . We ’ll first examine her life and then delve into what made her famous .
Emily Post’s Early Life
Emily Post had the advantage of being bear into a copious phratry . Her father , Bruce Price , was base himself as a prominent architect in Baltimore , and her female parent , Josephine Lee Price , was an heiress to a coal luck . Emily also had deep American rootage as a descendent of Francis Scott Key on her father ’s side and of pilgrims who sail on the Mayflower on her mother ’s side .
Emily Price was born in Baltimore on Oct. 27 , 1872 ( though this date is scrap ) . Besides a crony who decease in infancy , Emily grow up as an only child . When she was 5 year honest-to-god , her kinsperson moved to New York City . Although they had money , they were not among the so - call " Four Hundred , " a legendary lean of the elect upper Earth’s crust of society that could boast gentle lineage and old wealth . Nevertheless , Bruce and Josephine managed to wedge their mode into " good society . "
Emily attended " The Misses Graham ’s Seminary for Young Ladies , " a finish school , for six year . Although this is for certain where she learn much of the social soundness she ’d finally add to others , the future etiquette queen did n’t especially surpass . Later , she admitted she was n’t a very good student ; rather , she attribute her intelligence service and didactics to her Padre , to whom she was entirely devoted .
start in 1885 , Bruce Price built four cottage in Tuxedo Park , a unexampled summer resort settlement 40 statute mile northwards of New York City . The Prices used one cottage and charter out the others . allot to Emily ’s biographer , Bruce Price ’s cottage are his " outstanding legacy , " and they are said to have influenced even architectFrank Lloyd Wright[source : Claridge ] . before long , several elite families pass part of the year in the village . The aforethought community eventually became the year - rhythm mansion for many families , include Emily herself after she got married .
In December 1889 , 17 - twelvemonth - old Emily Price " come out " at her deb clump and dazzle the other attendants by perform the detailed dance call for of her . Just as she desire , she met her future hubby , Edwin Post , at the testis , and they wed three age later in 1892 . Emily ’s beginner was n’t thrilled about Edwin ’s fiscal prospects , but the young man did come from prestigious Dutch ancestry . Her marriage ceremony to Edwin was an example of the popular practice among the upper classes in which one spouse contribute filiation and the other new money .
A Messy Divorce
The Posts would go on to have two boys , Ned in 1893 and Bruce in 1895 , but they did n’t experience marital cloud nine . Part of the job was that Edwin was a passionate sailor and spend most of his fourth dimension on his gravy holder , but Emily was prostrate toseasicknessand did n’t accompany him . And they soon come up they were out or keeping in more ways than one . Bruce once wrote he ’d " committed matrimony " and was thus " sentenced to spirit for it " [ source : Claridge ] .
Emily ’s beloved beginner passed away in 1903 . On his deathbed , he promote his girl to go after her passion of penning . Over the next year , she immersed herself in writing her first novel , " The Flight of the Moth , " which was published the next twelvemonth in successive form and later as a Holy Scripture . Encouraged by sales and good reviews , Emily Post set to work on her next novel .
Meanwhile , as Emily ’s career begin to take off , her marriage continued to crumble . She and Edwin had been emotionally distant for many years , and Emily had either knowledge or strong suspicions of her husband ’s various unfaithfulness . One affair in finicky would lead to public scandal in 1905 : Edwin had go bad off a relationship with a youthful actress , and to regain his affectionateness , the actress returned to the cottage he kept for meeting his schoolma’am . Edwin scorned her advances , and she try revenge by get through the office staff of Col . William d’Alton Mann , a comment diarist and Civil War soldier [ rootage : Claridge ] .
Col . Mann was no stranger to scandal . Having ply severalblackmailschemes , he ’d developed a pattern of need money in interchange for keeping secret the making love affairs of high - power businessman . Later , Mann would defend his scheme saying that he seek to make the " Four Hundred … disgusted with themselves " [ source : Kolbert ] .
Edwin was already familiar with the scheme before he became a target himself , and he was prepared . Instead of accede , he was set to make a submarine of himself and discover the blackmailers . He go down up a sting to have the blackmailers collar , and his colleagues congratulated him for it . But in so doing , Edwin exposed his unfaithfulness and humiliated Emily as the story and subsequent trial made headlines for months to come [ source : Claridge ] .
The elbow room Emily would by and by portray the events , she and Edwin mutually agreed to heroically expose the extortionist . But , consort to Emily ’s biographer , Laura Claridge , Emily was actually not involve in the decision , and Edwin just warned her of what was to happen . Claridge explains that Emily ’s version of the history was an effort to cover up Edwin ’s failure to protect his own married woman from malicious gossip .
The Posts announced their divorce the next twelvemonth .
On Her Own
Emily Post did well on her owninheritancesand did n’t struggle financially , which allowed her to quest after her passion of writing . She would go on to publish another novel soon after her divorcement scandal . " Purple and Fine Linen " came out in 1906 to positive reviews , but two years afterwards , " Woven in the Tapestry " bomb to impress readers and reader . Her next , more successful novel , " The Title Market , " was about marriage between the European titled class and American ample , just like her own .
While riding on this succeeder , Emily kept meddling write articles in the " Delineator , " include " What Makes a Young Girl Popular in Society . " In this not - quite - hard - hit piece , she explicate the grandness of " radiance " and " happiness , " which can avail make up for a lack of money , social perspective or natural charms [ source : Claridge ] . In 1911 , another novel , " The Eagles ' Feather , " make out out to mixed reviews . afterward that year , she published articles on planning expenses for a baby and one about Tuxedo Park , the stamping ground village her male parent help establish .
Around this time , she asked her agent to secure her a task piece of writing for " Ladies Home Journal , " but he tell her they ’d recently meet the position . He went on , " I do not know if you would have liked running such a matter … write and deciding what kind of digit bowl hoi polloi ought to have on their table when they give a lunch , catch after a while , I think , to be a very tiresome pursuit . "
She wrote " The Curse of the Calico Girl , " which was serialized in 1914 . She was disappoint that it was n’t picked up for bring out in Christian Bible form like her other novel . But instead of wallowing , she select to join her young adult Word who were embarking on a route trip-up in Europe . In April , Emily continue her dangerous undertaking on the route — this time with Word Ned , as they began an American cross - country road trip on the Modern Lincoln Highway . The primitive auto and highway made for a unmanageable but adventurous journeying . Emily ’s biographer Laura Claridge pen , " The forty - five - day slip during one of the wet outflow on disk would prove originative to the writer ’s psychological development , enhance her ability to look beyond what she already knew . "
The magazine " Collier " asked her to log her experiences , which culminated in articles and a account book titled " By Motor to the Golden Gate . " But sale were unimpressive both because the public was already tired of the bailiwick of cross - country automobilist and because of the preoccupation with the European war . When the United States did get involved in the Great War , Emily , like most ladies , was worry with Polemonium van-bruntiae work . Luckily , after the war , her boys would hark back home safe . But the state was change .
Writing ‘Etiquette’
Despite the renown she would experience as an authority on etiquette , Emily Post was slightly embarrassed about it . The way Emily would later tell the chronicle , her publishing firm kept press her to write about etiquette until she finally relented . In realism , however , she sought out the assignment . Her agent had originally admonish the discipline as beneath her . Truthfully , she likely would ’ve preferred to be an authorisation on a more serious matter , but she recognized deep down that America would receive her expertise on such " superficial " matters as which fork to expend . And she was correct .
When she finally secured a deal to spell a Holy Writ on etiquette , Emily devoted herself to the project for two age starting in 1920 . Her Word , meanwhile , remained understandably skeptical about the project . They thought she was hopelessly out of touch if she believed she would find success sell etiquette principle to an godless public [ informant : Claridge ] .
Although she originally intended the book to be short , the project proved to satisfy her dear of meticulous organization and note taking , and she continued to find more social berth to write about . She did n’t pretend to be an expert in every billet , so she seek out the advice of Quaker and family ( or even strangers on the street ) and polled their opinions of the details of etiquette . Otherwise , she was mostly removed from public living and spent all of her metre shape on the book .
The resolution was a 619 - Thomas Nelson Page tome ennoble , " Etiquette : In Society , in Politics , in Business and at nursing home , " which cost $ 4 ( about $ 44 today ) [ source : Claridge ] . Despite its length and price , the book was quickly popular . After steady climbing the charts on the " Publisher ’s Weekly " non - fiction serious - seller list , it reached the top of the leaning eight calendar month after it follow out .
Highlights from Emily Post’s Rules of Etiquette
In her book , Emily Post performs an exhaustive give-and-take of etiquette , including everything from proper introductions , conversation , and diction to visiting cards and invitations and how to keep a presentable house . The reader learns one should generally inclose a younger person to an older soul , but a valet de chambre is always presented to a lady . And one should n’t put on air by using erudite words like " converse " instead of " talk . " Nevertheless , you should n’t say " telephone " alternatively of " phone . " Houses reflect the good luck charm of their owners , Post fence , and even people of meek income can be sizeable members of " Good Society " if they keep a neat home .
She also talk over the roles of various servants . The character of a parlor amah , for example , include keeping the library and drafting way in fiat , in addition to attend to the butler with wait and dishwashing . This is in demarcation to a lady ’s amah , of course , who is in charge of the dame ’s clothes and hair grease .
place discusses the minutia of how a lady sits graciously — centered in a chair , ramification together even if crossed . And she recite us in what kinds ofelevatorsa man must remove his hat when in the presence of a madam — specifically those located in hotel , clubs and flat , but not necessarily those in offices or stores .
The referee learns how to host tea , a formal dinner party and even a wedding . Some of this advice is still the standard today , such as the etiquette of thank - you billet ( prompt and hand - written by the Saint Bridget herself ) , as well as who chooses the bridesmaids ' dresses ( the St. Brigid ) and who ante up for them ( the wearers ) .
When it comes to clothes , a pleasing appearance is on equality with good mode . Post encourages the reader to learn what in vogue fashions solve for him or her . One should n’t be like " sheep " and follow each new fashion blindly . But Post does n’t approve of " frump " or " dowds " who make no seek to keep up with mode .
Post might have fallen into obscurity like her predecessors had it not been for one invention to the writing style of etiquette manuals : characters . Post sop up on her personal noesis of genuine family and her experience writing fabrication to incorporate such characters as the Worldlys , the Kindharts , the Gildings , the Wellborns and the Toploftys . This technique served to both exemplify hypothetical situations and allow her readers a glimpse into gamey - lodge personalities .
But it was her emphasis on good character — rather than just undecomposed character reference — that perhaps come across most with her consultation .
What’s Most Important
In the first chapter of her book , Post quickly earns the respect of her mediate - class readers , assuring them that etiquette can appropriate anyone into " Best Society . "
" Best Society is not a fellowship of the moneyed , nor does it essay to exclude those who are not of high-minded birth ; but it is an association of gentlefolk , of which good contour in spoken communication , charm of way , knowledge of the social amenity , and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others , are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members . "
office portion out with the younger generation an appreciation of core value over appearances , say , " Certainly what one is , is of far greater importance than what one come along to be . " She explains what she acquire painfully through her unhappy marriage : A man is not a gentleman if he does not live up to a computer code of laurels , which is " more of import than any simple dictum of etiquette . "
Throughout her book , Post often turn the table on the upper year , involve they show mercy on those who try and miscarry to live up to their high standards of decorousness . While discussing how to be a dependable Edgar Guest , Post give notice , " you must memorise as it were not to note if hot soup is poured down your back . " And the characters of the Kindharts sweetly ignore the Newweds ' disastrous dinner party , say , " jolly along up , small girl , it does n’t really count ! "
Despite all her meticulous guidance on behavior and mode , Post close her rule book with an open - minded rumination on generational modification . She recognizes the cyclical nature of trends and is heedful not to condemn the customs of the newgenerationas being too loose .
With her emphasis on good character and reliable thoughtfulness for the flavor of others , Post managed to win the esteem of the younger"Roaring ' 20s"generation . This suggests that not all young mass of the twenty-four hour period were as irreverent and devil-may-care as commonly think , but that they just winnow out the hypocrisy and pretensions of the older generation . Post give them the direction they needed to separate the wheat from the stubble and hold on to what was good about the past . She taught them that appearance and manners , though less significant than near fiber , are not inconsequential . Indeed , for Post , coming into court and manner help show good quality .
The Etiquette Expert
The name of Emily Post quickly became synonymous with etiquette , and she rode this winner for the rest of her life . Three age after " Etiquette " came out , she published a society novel , " Parade . " The account book ’s advertizement drive focused on Post ’s experience as a manners expert . But this would be her last foray into fabrication , as she clear that people were much more interested in her advice on manners .
As she was working to retool and update " Etiquette " in 1927 , tragedy struck . Emily ’s son Bruce complained of a stomachache , but he decline to see a MD . Once she finally convince him to go to the hospital , he died of a rupturedappendixjust a few week after his 32nd natal day . In her grief , she celebrate herself busy , however . She project herself into work on a textbook of computer architecture and became an devouring nurseryman .
Her revision of " Etiquette " appear later that twelvemonth and include some interesting grant . In the original edition , she explained that chaperones really tolerate young women to be more " free . " But in the first revision , she succumbed to the newfangled practice of grant women to go out alone with a man . moreover , she realized that much of her readership was " servantless , " and she invent " Mrs. Three - in - one , " who must wreak the hostess , the James Cook and the waitress .
The next twelvemonth , Post came out with a new volume , but this time anonymously . " How to Behave Though a Debutante " was a parody about Muriel , a modern young girl . Muriel is an independent , empowered young cleaning lady who discuss sex openly . The gunpoint of the record was to encourage the previous multiplication to respect the untested generation and accept modification [ source : Claridge ] . Publishing anonymously allowed lector to approach the Bible without put on expectation . Reviewers call the book of account " brazenly unconventional . " mail surprised all her readers when she came out as the author a few months afterward .
The compendium on computer architecture she began in the viewing of her son ’s death , " The Personality of a House , " did n’t hail out until 1930 — the year after the stock certificate market clangor , harbinger of the Great Depression — so it enjoyed only modest sales . Two years later , she secure a flock for a everyday syndicated column , " In Good Taste , " that would appear in closely 200 newspaper [ source : Claridge ] . She also became a popular radio set personality in the 1930s , negotiating a contract for a weekly national wireless programme .
In 1950 , " Pageant " powder magazine listed Post as second only to Eleanor Roosevelt in the leaning of " most herculean char in America " [ reference : Claridge ] . Before her death in 1960 , Post ’s " Etiquette " would undergo 10 update and 90 printings [ rootage : Encyclopedia Britannica ] .
The Emily Post Institute , which she herself founded in 1946 , continues today with involvement from her descendent . They express the torch of helping hoi polloi learn etiquette and navigate social situations with a focal point on courtesy to others .
Lots More Information
What impressed me most about Emily Post was her emphasis on combining good character and knowing the ruler of etiquette . salutary aim are essential , yes , but they are n’t everything . Good intentions ca n’t tell you how to act in every berth . moreover , someone from a completely different background could take offense at what was meant to be a kind enactment . Establishing a cultural etiquette — even if it ’s a flexible and change etiquette — is necessary for society .
