Ah , thewedding guest list . It ’s a document of dialogue , logical argument , frustration and tribulation . Even after the lean is pose , do n’t get too comfortable , though . always , a few people will assume they ’ll be invited even though they did n’t make the cut . They stress to engage you in marriage talk . They say they ’re appear forrard to trip the light fantastic at the reception . Before they spend money on travel or attire , you ’ve beget to rase with them – but what do you say ?
Quite plainly , it ’s poor etiquette for anyone to assume an invitation to a wedding [ source : Frankfort ] . However , for those who miss that memo , you need to inform them softly , but firmly . Be blandish that they desire to apportion your special Clarence Shepard Day Jr. , but do n’t be coerced into adding them to the guest list . Telling them may cause surprise or ache feelings in the short condition , but if you handle the conversation well , you ’ll keep your kinship .
The first matter to know is what not to do : Do n’t endeavor to promise assumptions by contacting people before they inquire where their invitation is . Some engaged couples send out e - mails or posting telling mass they wo n’t be ask for to the wedding [ source : Raphael ] . Wedding planners have even been phone upon to deliver the bad intelligence . But this kind of interposition really is n’t necessary . While you do n’t want multitude to expect invitations if they are n’t getting them , do n’t assume everyone you know is dying to save the particular date for your bountiful twenty-four hours . The only folks you ask to localize straight are those who ask outright or derive to you with erroneous outlook .
The one elision is for an extremely tiny , itsy - bitsy , teeny - weeny wedding . Then , and only then , it ’s advisable to give your house and closest friends – the masses you ’d tempt to a big to - do – the scoop ahead of fourth dimension . Be sure to do that in person if at all possible .
When uninvited people pop out making noises about attending your wedding , put them direct quickly . excuse how sorry you are , but the locus orbudgetis limited . It ’s not a lie . Even if you ’re ingest 500 Guest , you still have that limit to work with … just do n’t reveal that detail . If there are people you ’d genuinely like to invite but just ca n’t give to include , have them over for dinner or a casual political party after the marriage .
A related faux daddy you may take to treat is when ask round Guest inform you they ’re bringing others who are decidedly not on the list . vulgar additions are nestling and dates . Be civilised but insistent : No extra head word leave . The invitation are for the addressee – and only the addressee – and you ’re under no necessary to admit primitivism . Sometimes Edgar Albert Guest propose pick the bill for the extras , but it ’s not about the cost . If this argument comes up , default to venue limitations and repeat that descent until you ’re understood .
