The bad gift Sue — one of several responder to an informal Facebook survey I conducted on dreadful gift — ever receive was an badly - fitting sweat suit from a discount store ’s clearance rack . For Marci , it was a contribution in her name to a lawsuit she did n’t confirm . natural endowment giving is hard . Most of us want to find the perfectgiftfor the especial multitude in our lives , but have no theme where to get down . We buy something we ’re certain will enthral , but it does n’t . Or we wait until the last minute and stop up purchase something in a scare .
Gift gift is a oecumenical tradition , yet it stumps many of us . An articlepublished in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology describe five freestanding studies that all show people prefer to receive gifts they specifically request . Easy enough . But gift givers lean to believe unsolicited present tense will be viewed as more considerate , so they be given to go scallywag .
Similarly , a 2016paperbased on prior research of endowment gift notes a disagreement in the way a natural endowment giver and the recipient call back about the gift . talent givers typically pick out a present by visualise how it will be obtain , often going for a " wow " cistron or a complete surprisal . Yet recipient role are more virtual when they open a gift , focusing on its utility and long - terminus sex appeal .
Here ’s an example . A husband purchases pricey baseball field earring for his wife , plump for that " wow " divisor . He can just picture how she ’ll give a little yell of joy when she get to the box . But she does n’t . She ’d take for slippers , a liquidizer or a pair of leather gloves , and would have preferred those than the diamond earrings , no matter how beautiful . Another scenario : A fair sex buys her java - loving mom a talent card to a burnt umber shop , something she deem a very thoughtful nowadays . While her mother does enjoy chocolate , she bid she had received a more various cite card gift card .
The 2016 paper also revealed that gift presenter opt giving tangible items that can be used immediately , such as those diamond earrings . But receiver often prefer experiential gifts , such as concert tickets or go past to go zip liner . spend more on your loved one does n’t impress natural endowment recipient role , either . So if someone says he want a $ 20 nylon notecase , do n’t go out and purchase its $ 100 textured - leather opposite number . last , the cogitation enunciate to stay away from donations to brotherly love in the recipient ’s name . These often bomb because the recipient role gets petty out of it .
Of course , there aremore nuances to present givingthan those outlined in the study . get ’s say your wife says she ’d care a new blender , so you lead out and snap up it for her as a Christmas present . She may be miffed when she divulge the box if she take in the gift as a household item she would have purchase anyway . While we ’re often instructed to pay close attention to what our loved ones say to pick up possible natural endowment estimation , forethought is needed . If your best acquaintance has been kick about her wrinkle , she may not appreciate have a gift card for Botox injection , no matter how useful and practical — peculiarly if she afford the gift in front of others .
Some people say you should divvy up your involvement and passions through your gift . But that ’s not necessarily true . One woman I surveyed says some of the worst gifts she ’s ever receive are from her comrade , a " Star Wars " fan , who has given her many Darth Vader - themed token . " I could n’t give a crap about ' Star Wars , ' " she says .
And comical gifts ? Well , they ’re not always so funny to others . One adult female recalls that years ago , her husband gave her a ball that made the sound of smashing glass when you tossed it . He think it was a hilarious gift , but she was not amused . " We had two baby . I wanted perfume to feel pretty , a security for a massage or time away with him , " she says . " But I got this stupid ball . "
Some assert it ’s the opinion that counts , and that might be true . But maybe you should turn your opinion to the point on your loved ones ' gift list . They ’ll get exactly what they desire , and you do n’t have to pass countless hours fretting over what to get them .
